The Best Ad I've Ever Seen On Craigslist...

Wow -- this is a very Becky-esque e-mail. I think I could heart this guy.

Subject: Free Potato Chip (lightly used) (Midtown)
The sun is shining, the weather is beautiful, and I am in a giving mood. As indicated in the subject line, this chip has been slightly used. I took one bite of it and enjoyed it so much, I thought I might share the remaining half with some other lucky soul. You can see in the picture that I have indicated to the size of the portion of the chip that is no longer there.

This chip was manufactured by Utz brand in Hanover PA. On a somewhat related side note, I have a friend that used to spend her summers off from school working in the Utz factory. You’ll never believe what her job was: She was an official Potato Chip/Pretzel Smasher. As the portions of aforementioned products came down the assembly line, laid out on a flat surface, it was her job to make sure that a certain amount of that portion was smashed to bits. Unbelievable, I know, but you just can’t make that stuff up.

For all you health nuts out there:
A serving size as indicated on the back of the packaging is about 20 chips. Based on this, a half chip is about 1/40th of a serving, which means this Chip only has:

3.75 calories, 2 calories from fat
(this equates to about .35% of the daily recommended value)
0.25% Daily Value of Saturated Fat
0.27% Daily Value of Sodium
0.13% Daily Value of Total Carbohydrate
0.10% Daily Value of Dietary Fiber

I expect a lot of interest in this one-time deal, so please be competitive with your response. Tell me a little bit about yourself and why it is that you think you deserve this one half of one Potato Chip. And please don’t try to use your dire financial situation as leverage, because let’s face it, in this economy times are tough on everyone!

You can pick it up at my office anytime before 5:00PM today (I will meet you out front) Or I can meet you anywhere around Fort Greene after 6:00PM. I will not extend this offer past today as I do not expect to be able to resist eating this other half myself for longer than 12 hours.

Good luck, and may the best snack-attacker win.